Con or Connoisseur?: How to Be a Fancy Wine Drinker, Or At Least Look Like One

The server approaches with the bottle. He starts talking about notes and tannins and an earthy flavor. As in, like, dirt? He opens the bottle and pours a splash in your glass and looks at you. He's waiting for you to do something. In confusion and panic, you stand up and start dancing. You and your friend do a terrible impression of Kathie Lee and Hoda…